I have always had a huge issue with and a great dislike towards situations when a woman is celebrating an accomplishment in her life, but another woman will search out a chink in her armor. There is a strong difference between critiquing and criticizing and there is a time and place for everything. "I Celebrate you, but".... is inexcusable. When a woman steps out choosing faith over fears and does something that before rattled her to her core, let her have her moment. We have to stop being women who always have to point out what is wrong when she did something so right in her eyes. This is why we have so much discord amongst women. I started this movement with the idea that I can be a positive light, help, word, etc. to another woman and facilitate us being that towards one another. But I have to settle with knowing that there will always be those who do not want the same thing.
My hearts desire is to live in a world where women just cheer for other women. PERIODT! Not look for what is wrong or what we can criticize. Why can't we just celebrate one another's accomplishment as women? Why do we have to always point out what we think is wrong? Why can't we allow her to have her moment and be happy? I am not saying that this is every woman in the world, but amongst us, there are a few. Celebrate her and her accomplishment. Buy her product. Share her post. Be a light to her in this world of so much darkness. If she is happy, let her be happy. Don't be so bothered by another woman's happy. Because when it is your turn, you won't want that would you? Celebrate her. PERIODT! No if's, and's or but's about it. There is no magic formula to it, your light will not be dimmed and every time, all of the time is the right time to do it.
I have worked in mental/behavioral health for 7 years as of last month. Just recently I sat in a room with a woman who spoke of her DV History at the hands of multiple men that her and her family trusted to protect and provide for her. Though she wept in the midst of recounting some of these events, the thing that stood out the most was the fact that she never lost hope. In the midst of being spit on, pushed down stairs, dragged, defecated on, even losing a child in her 8th month of pregnancy and having a historectomy in the process, she remained hopeful in the GOD that fashioned her in her Mother's womb.
I say all of that to say this. In this life we will go through a lot of unwanted and unnecessary things. But through it all, we cannot lose our hope. Hope is the one thing that will help us to not take ourselves, or someone else, out. Hope will help us to keep getting up out of the bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Is it hard? Yes it is. But it is possible. Ask me how I know......
Domestic violence is one of the most demeaning acts of human nature that can be done to another person. But even though it exist, GOD still affords us the ability to remain hopeful that we can make it through it and be victorious over it. We do not have to succumb to what is being done to us nor do we have to allow it to define us. So, I say to you, try as best as possible to remain hopeful through whatever you are going through. And for those who are watching a loved one go through, simply be available. The last thing that your loved one needs to feel is abandoned by everyone they know and loved. This is the quickest way for them to lose whatever pieces of hope that they are clinging on to. And in due time, when they are ready, they will make the necessary moves to better their situation. I pinky promise. And if she can keep hope through all of that, what's stopping you?
If you are someone you know is struggling, here are a few helpful #'s to call.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline:
- National Sexual Assault Hotline:
-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):
-National Hopeline Network:
-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
-National Youth Crisis Hotline:
And also a special hotline number for the hearing impaired: 1-800-799-4889.
Don't hesitate. It's better to be safe than grieving. Make the call. 💜💜💜 #DomesticViolenceAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness