Single, Saved, & Satisfied: Are you ready?/ What's your heart condition?

by: Lorin T. Gatson

Hello singles and single supporters. I hope you guys are being an addition to anyone who is in your presence and most of all loving yourself completely and unconditionally. Remember if you don't, no one else will. are you ready?

My last post asked a very important question. ARE YOU READY? I know being single can be tough and sometimes we jump into relationships when it is not the right time. We have to be what we want to see in others and possess the expectations we require from someone else.  So this post is a continuation of Are You Ready?

Are you ready to give pieces of your heart? Often times (especially when in the moment), we are sitting across from someone who could possibly be the answer to our prayers. This could be true, but we must take a minute and check our heart condition. The heart is a vulnerable part of us that is vital to our lives. It connects us to others and any relationship we experience.

Why would I ask you to do a heart check before you decide to enter a relationship? Well, no one deserves a faulty, unfiltered, and dirty heart. This will only lead to more heartbreak and unnecessary pain. Raise your hand if you've been hurt!! 🖐(hand raised)🙄 I raise my hand a lot, huh!! lol.

What comes along with an unfiltered, broken heart?
1. hurt: all the previous tough experiences that took route from hurtful relationships.

2. bitterness: the emotion that comes along with the realization that you gave your all and it was taken for granted, abused, and misused.
(Especially when the other person moves on like you never existed.)

3. trust issues- scared to allow another person in your mind, space, and heart because you haven't truly gotten over the previous hurt. (In your mind, everything is a lie.)

4. shutdowns- in any argument or disagreement you shut off your emotions and refuse to communicate effectively.

5. unhealthy vulnerability- accepting whoever, however, and whenever without thinking.
(This will get you a trip to the clinic.) be careful. lol. but for real*

6. hardened heart: no one can love me evvvver again and I'll stab anyone who looks at me with googly eyes. (This will get you admitted to the psych ward or arrested.) BE CAREFUL*

There is definitely more to this list but I'll stop right there.

TRUTH MOMENT: I was hurt by a 4 year relationship or whatever it was.  I still had the nerve to stay connected after I knew the relationship was over. So that added 2 more years of NOTHING!! lol. He was my stronghold. My heart was hurt, broken, and I was only there to keep my heart pumping even though it was pumping through false love
 (real people who've been hurt and stayed will feel that)

This caused me to shut down and be vulnerable at the same time. Those who read my second blog, remember the man I fell for.... yeah, him. He was a product of my vulnerability and the aftermath was my shutdown (again). I didn't deal with my hurt the proper way the first time.

You see, another person whether male or female can not heal a broken heart that they are not responsible for. When we don't  heal from our past hurts, we put others in a position to heal and fill a void that they CANNOT fill. (It's not up to them to heal you)
*This comes from God and your own desire to heal.*
They will never be good enough. Old memories will trigger past hurts. Certain things he or she does will take you back to places of hurt. ONLY IF YOUR HEART ISN'T HEALED!!!

I say to you my sisters and brothers, before you jump into a new relationship, check your heart.  Make sure you are ready to give another piece of it to someone else. Ask yourself the hard questions.

1. Am I healed from my past hurt?
2. Can I trust him or her completely?
3. Can I trust them with my heart?
4. Am I truly ready to give parts of me that were once misused and taken for granted?
5. Am I ready to put in the work?
6. Is my heart clean and pumping fully on the love of God, the love I have for myself, the love I desire to give and receive?
7. AM I READY?

Don't let others pay for what happened to you before them. You deserve love and to be loved. Your partner deserves to love you without walls. Though this will take work, if you want a "REAL" love experience, do a heart check before you jump into anything. We have a responsibility to ourselves to heal FIRST!!

Coming from a broken, pieced together, and almost whole heart.

Signing off,
a single saved, and (somewhat) satisfied woman!!

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