|Alive and Worthy, LLC.||
I have always had a huge issue with and a great dislike towards situations when a woman is celebrating an accomplishment in her life, but another woman will search out a chink in her armor. There is a strong difference between critiquing and criticizing and there is a time and place for everything. "I Celebrate you, but".... is inexcusable. When a woman steps out choosing faith over fears and does something that before rattled her to her core, let her have her moment. We have to stop being women who always have to point out what is wrong when she did something so right in her eyes. This is why we have so much discord amongst women. I started this movement with the idea that I can be a positive light, help, word, etc. to another woman and facilitate us being that towards one another. But I have to settle with knowing that there will always be those who do not want the same thing.
My hearts desire is to live in a world where women just cheer for other women. PERIODT! Not look for what is wrong or what we can criticize. Why can't we just celebrate one another's accomplishment as women? Why do we have to always point out what we think is wrong? Why can't we allow her to have her moment and be happy? I am not saying that this is every woman in the world, but amongst us, there are a few. Celebrate her and her accomplishment. Buy her product. Share her post. Be a light to her in this world of so much darkness. If she is happy, let her be happy. Don't be so bothered by another woman's happy. Because when it is your turn, you won't want that would you? Celebrate her. PERIODT! No if's, and's or but's about it. There is no magic formula to it, your light will not be dimmed and every time, all of the time is the right time to do it.
I have worked in mental/behavioral health for 7 years as of last month. Just recently I sat in a room with a woman who spoke of her DV History at the hands of multiple men that her and her family trusted to protect and provide for her. Though she wept in the midst of recounting some of these events, the thing that stood out the most was the fact that she never lost hope. In the midst of being spit on, pushed down stairs, dragged, defecated on, even losing a child in her 8th month of pregnancy and having a historectomy in the process, she remained hopeful in the GOD that fashioned her in her Mother's womb.
I say all of that to say this. In this life we will go through a lot of unwanted and unnecessary things. But through it all, we cannot lose our hope. Hope is the one thing that will help us to not take ourselves, or someone else, out. Hope will help us to keep getting up out of the bed and putting one foot in front of the other. Is it hard? Yes it is. But it is possible. Ask me how I know......
Domestic violence is one of the most demeaning acts of human nature that can be done to another person. But even though it exist, GOD still affords us the ability to remain hopeful that we can make it through it and be victorious over it. We do not have to succumb to what is being done to us nor do we have to allow it to define us. So, I say to you, try as best as possible to remain hopeful through whatever you are going through. And for those who are watching a loved one go through, simply be available. The last thing that your loved one needs to feel is abandoned by everyone they know and loved. This is the quickest way for them to lose whatever pieces of hope that they are clinging on to. And in due time, when they are ready, they will make the necessary moves to better their situation. I pinky promise. And if she can keep hope through all of that, what's stopping you?
If you are someone you know is struggling, here are a few helpful #'s to call.
- National Domestic Violence Hotline:
- National Sexual Assault Hotline:
-Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA):
-National Hopeline Network:
-National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
-National Youth Crisis Hotline:
And also a special hotline number for the hearing impaired: 1-800-799-4889.
Don't hesitate. It's better to be safe than grieving. Make the call. 💜💜💜 #DomesticViolenceAwareness #MentalHealthAwareness
"You have to speak what you seek until you see what you said."
I am free.
I am free.
I am free.
I am free.
I am free.
I am free.
I am free.
Have you ever had to repeat something over and over again to yourself as if you were trying to convince yourself that what your saying is real and true? You may sound like a broken record but you know that what you are saying is a mandatory to do and necessarily vital to your everything. I have. This morning the words "I am Free" were on constant repeat out of my mouth. For some reason, I woke up with a sense that something was trying to take hold of me and keep me bound. It was my mind. In my mind, the past kept replaying. My past hurts. My past pains. My past failures. My past let downs. My past put downs. Things from my past that I thought I had buried to never resurface again. But guess what, they did.
On yesterday in morning worship, the youth sung Free Worshiper by Todd Dulaney during Praise and Worship and it has stuck with me ever since. I am a firm believer that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. For me that phrase, even from some babes in Christ, was for such a time as this. There is a part in the song where we sung "Lord I'm Free" over and over again. This morning when all these memories and feelings started to arise, I had to sing just that part of the song to remind myself that I am no longer bound to my past. To what I did and what was done to me. I fought so hard to get where I am now and I am definitely refusing to go back.
I say all of that to say to you this morning that you are free. What happened back then shouldn't and doesn't define who you are right now. At times the memories of what happened to you and what you did will try to rear it's ugly head to try to stop you from walking in the greatness and goodness that is you, but you have the power to stand flat footed against it and say "I am free." For some of you maybe it's not memories. Maybe it is present day people and situations that hold you in condemnation. Know that even in the midst of, you have the power to free yourself. You have the power to speak those things be not as though they were. That is if you are tired of being bound and desire to be free. Then and only then you will open your mouth and speak "I am free" like a broken record that not even the forces of nature can stop until you feel every shackle release you from the grips that hinders you from moving forward and being all that you were destined to be. I don't know about you, but I am willing to do this as often and as necessary as I need to do it. Not just for me, but for my babies as well. They model what they see. Not just for you, but for your babies as well. They will model what they see.
Start right now. Right where you currently are. At your desk. In your cubicle. In the bathroom. In the break room. In your classroom, wherever. The shackles and chains that bound you are no respector of where you are or whose around you so why not. Just begin to say it out of your mouth. Pull it from your toes and declare right now, today that "I AM FREE!" 💜💜💜
Have you ever been riding in heavy traffic and it seemed like all the other lanes were moving so much faster than yours? You get frustrated then eventually you force your way into the faster moving lane. Then it seems like that new lane that you just switched to all of a sudden slows down and the one you abandoned is now moving at a much faster pace and you get frustrated even more now your road rage has kicked in...... Happens to all of us at some point. I bring that scenario up to because it is very real and I want to say this. In life we are all in our own individual lane. Though our lane may not be moving as fast as we think it should be, we have to practice (and here comes that word that most of us dread) patience. What we cannot do is we can not look into other lanes, get frustrated and then try to be lane hoppers thinking that we will move just as fast as them or faster. One thing that I know is that everything is not always what it appears to be. We must learn how to be patient with the lane that we were designed to be in and the speed that we were designed to go and stick with it until we get where we are needing, trying, wanting and supposed to be.
There are sooooo many times when I have looked at the people around me and those on social media and I have either begin to do things outside of my ordinary, or I have gotten myself into some crazy head spaces. Head spaces where I thought I was going to need to be committed to a mental institution. In those spaces I have questioned me, doubted my abilities, downed me and even quit just because it seemed like everyone else was moving so much faster than me. I know I stated earlier that things are not always what they seem, but I want to add to that idea that we also don't know what those people sacrificed to move at that faster pace. And when I say sacrifice, I mean both good and bad things. I can sacrifice my time to pray and give, but I refuse to sacrifice my family, my morals, my values, my integrity or my character just to get there quicker. I don't know about you, but that stuff is super important to me. So in that case, I think we should all stay in our little lane and move at our own individual pace no matter what speed it is. We'll definitely get there as long as we are heading in the right direction.
Plus, I don't know about you, but I don't want to get there too early because that might cause me to have to just and to sit and wait anyway. You ever rushed to get somewhere and they weren't open yet? No fun whatsoever. I want to get where I am needing, trying, wanting and supposed to be right on time. Don't you? Just hold on and be patient because you don't want to start doing things outside of your ordinary. Or things that will have you compromising your everything. We'll get there. Right on schedule.
Happy Monday you guys! So, I don't know if you all have seen the video of Snoop Dogg making his speech when he got his Star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. But it stuck out to me because he did something that 95% of us either forget to do or refuse to do because we don't want people to think that we are so full of ourselves. But what he did in his speech was.......... he thanked himself. Yes he did! He thanked himself for putting in all the work that he did. He thanked himself for believing in himself. He thanked himself for having no days off. For not quitting, for being a giver, for giving more than he received, for trying to do more right than wrong and for being him at all times. That was absolutely HUGE!
A great deal of the time we give so much energy to giving everybody else all the praise for the even the tiniest part that they play in our success and we give ourselves nothing. Now I am not saying to not recognize the people that help us along the way, but we can't forget to thank ourselves when we were the ones that put in the bulk of the work to get us where we needed and wanted to be. Truth be told, if we didn't put in the work that we did, none of what we do would be possible and those thank you's would be null and void. On our road to success, we don't get paid for a great deal of what we do, yet we'll recognize ourselves the least. Then when we feel overworked and under recognized, we get mad!
In the South, thank you is second nature. But we always say it to any and everyone else that does anything nice for us. So I want to challenge you to be the biggest gratitude giver of yourself. I'm not saying to be pompous or arrogant now. But when you get where you are trying to go, thank yourself. On the road to getting where you are trying to go, thank yourself. Everytime you have a victory, thank yourself. This will help you to motivate you to keep going also. Stop leaving you out of your own gratitude on your journey to success. You deserve your thank you's too just like the people that you decide to thank that helped you to get there. We criticize ourselves when we mess up. Why not thank ourselves when we blow and blow up? ....... Ijs.
My people! My people! Today is the last day, the last Monday, the last 24 hours of 2018. Some people will say that 2018 was A-MAZING and they can't wait to see what 2019 will hold. Others will say that it was devastating and they cannot wait until it is over and beyond ready for a fresh start. I will forever say that it all is what we make it out to be. We all have had bad moments in EVERY single year that we've been alive, but life is all about our perspective. Let's talk a bit about that.
Perspective is looking at the glass as half full or half empty. What do I mean by that? I'll explain. The half full side is seeing that even though half is gone, I still have half left over and I have something that I can work with. The half empty side is looking at everything that is gone and saying "Dang, I've lost a lot" and lingering on what is gone not realizing that you are negating what you still have. But the way you perceive what is happening is all up to you.
So yes, you may have had some hiccups in 2018. But you still have breath in your body. You can still see the sun shining and hear the birds chirping. And you have had plenty of experiences to learn and grow from. The only thing we should ever be upset about is being in the same place in our right now that we were in this same time last year. If that is the case, then I get it. But if it's not, then enjoy this last day of 2018 and walk into your 2019 with your head up. If this is you and you are still in the same place, then you can still walk into 2019 with your head up. Just promise yourself that you will not be in this same place come next year this time and begin now to make moves in that direction.
Oh, and one last thing. Get your perspective in check. Unpleasant things will forever come our way until the day that we leave this place. But it is up to us to decide whether we will allow it to fold us or we fold it, learn from it and keep moving forward. We still have goals to accomplish. We still have life to live. We still have people to love and so much love to still receive. You heard me? Get your perspective in check and let's bust 2019 in the face. You ready? Well let's GEAUX!!! 💜💜💜
As we come into the last week of 2018, I can't help but to reflect back on all of the ups and downs that occurred throughout the year. I laughed, I cried, I learned, I grew, I gained, I loss, so on and so forth. But I must say that it was a pretty darn good year. I, like many other people in this world, didn't do a 2018 resolution. I simply declared that this year I would try to enjoy life more. And this will be my same thought for my 2019 and my 2020 and my 2021 and my 2022..... you get the picture.
Though I don't have much to say today, I do want to say this to you. Life already has so many twist and turns. Ins and outs. Ups and downs. Highs and lows. (I can go all day with that.) But through it all, DO NOT forget to choose to laugh, choose to live and choose to love. None of us know what tomorrow holds. None of us can predict how everything will turn out. The only thing that is in our control is our right now. The moment that is upon us. So right now, I dare you to
Choose to live.
Choose to be in the moment.
Choose to enjoy those around you.
Choose to laugh.
Choose to focus on the good and not the bad.
Choose not to focus on tomorrow.
I can always look at a person and tell what they have chosen. It is not hard to see. It is written all over each and every one of us while we are thinking that we are the greatest at hiding our entire selves from the world. But the next time I or anyone around you looks at you, we should be saying, "Yep, he/she chose the good stuff". I cannot say that it will always be easy because our minds constantly want to focus on the worries and troubles of tomorrow. That bible verse is real that states that tomorrow has troubles of its own. Take it one day at a time. One situation at a time. One moment at a time. Train your mind to choose the good and eventually it will become second nature. But do not let 2019 catch you not choosing laughter, life and love. The good stuff in life that will add to and not take away from your life. Just choose it.
On yesterday while in church, my dear husband preached a sermon titled "The "ANYWAY" in Me". He was talking about us as people developing an attitude where we get those things done in our life Anyway. Like, no matter what happens, I'm going to do it anyway. No matter what comes my way to try to hinder me, I'm going to do it Anyway. No matter who says what about me doing it, I'm going to do it Anyway.
I've had many times in my life where my Anyway was tested. My Anyway lost at times and prevailed at others. I can honestly say that if I stuck to my Anyway a lot more in my past, that I'd be much further in life than I am right now. Not saying that I am not happy where I am, but you get the point.
On yesterday, I sat in my seat listening to the hubster, and I decided that my Anyway is going to be on top in my life. We are finishing up another year that went by faster than the last year and the year before that. None of us know how many more years we have on this Earth but I'm sure we want to leave with a few more notches in our belt than we have now. In order for that to happen, no matter what happens, no matter what comes our way, no matter who says or does what, our Anyway has to stand tall.
I'm going to do it Anyway.
I'm going to move Anyway.
I'm going to start Anyway.
I'm going to follow through Anyway.
I'm going to get the information Anyway.
I'm going to make the calls Anyway.
I'm going to love Anyway.
I'm going to give Anyway.
I'm going to create the life that I want to live Anyway.
I'm going to finish Anyway.
So on and so forth. Our Anyway is going to get us where we want and need to be. Life will throw everything and the kitchen sink at us. All we can do is put our head down, brace ourselves for the Impact and keep moving forward Anyway. There are many times that I've laughed, cried, prayed, cursed, fought and so much more. And so will you. But our Anyway had, and has, to be just that. It's an attitude. It's a lifestyle. It's a way of life!
Lastly I will say this..... don't wait for people to clap for or motivate you. This has been most of our issues in life. We wait for those who we think or the closest to us to jump on board with our decisions. You have to say that matter who claps, buys my product, shares my business on social media, congratulates, motivates, is a listening ear, etc. I gotta do it Anyway. You know where you want to be. Get there. Anyway.
When I look back over my life, at the ripe age of 37 that I am, I can pinpoint so many times where I was beyond serious and didn't need to be. Where I took everything with a grain of salt because that's what I was supposed to be like. Now looking back, I can wholeheartedly say that "It didn't take all of that". I spent so much time focused on my schooling, my career, my health, etc.... that I forgot to have fun. Now I look up and say, "Where did the time go?" Many of you reading this are probably saying the same thing.
We tend to take life waaaaaaay more seriously then necessary. We go above and beyond and don't take time off of our jobs that will replace us at the drop of a hat. We center every aspect of our lives around it and will not budge regardless of sickness, bad weather and sometimes even tragedy. I just want to say this to you........ As we come to a close of 2018, DO NOT let another year, month, week, etc. go by where you do not have fun and enjoy life. You owe that to yourself.
Many of us are making ourselves age faster than we are supposed to because we are so rigid, mundane and set in our grinch like ways. If you have children, you definitely owe that to them. Teach them what it means to LIVE LIFE. Otherwise you are making little replicas of yourself that will grow up and not know how to have fun or enjoy life and age faster than they are supposed to. If you can't do it for yourself, let them be your motivation. Ok? Now don't think about it. Because you'll find EVERY reason under the sun why you can't do it. JUST DO IT! Get addicted to having some fun time in the midst of your taking care of business. Ok? Ok. Cool. 👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
This morning on my way to work, Joe Pace's Speak Life begin to play from my list of downloaded music on my phone that is connected to my car. As I listened to the song, all I could think of was all the times that I beat myself up and put myself down because I:
1. Was not where I thought I should be in life.
2. Was not making the best decisions for my life.
3. Was wasting time and being neglectful with time and the resources given to me in my life.
And I was so wrong for doing this. Other people don't pull us down, we pull ourselves down. What I heard the singer say was, no matter where you are or how badly you think your life is, you got to speak life to your self and your situation, encourage and uplift yourself and everything will be alright. He kept saying these words as well, "You won't die. You won't die." I don't think we understand the power of the words that we speak out of our mouths in regards to our self and our life. Our words shape our reality and they bring life or death to everything around us. They really do.
I remember being in a hospital bed thinking "This is it". I was going to leave my husband and my son and go and be with GOD based off of what the Doctors told me about my condition. I gave up on me..... terribly bad. In the midst of my pity party, I had a visitor and they brought me this pillow that said "Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. -Psalms 37:4" That pillow stayed in my bed and it slowly began to encourage me to fight a little bit more. Day by day, I simply recited that scripture then eventually I picked up my bible and begin to read it. I begin to delight myself in Him and encourage myself. I can tell you that, as sure as water is wet, I spoke myself out of that bed and shocked those doctors. But it wasn't a one and done thing. I went to the hospital many more times after that and each time, my faith got stronger in my words that I used towards me. I spoke myself through 3 partial colectomies. I spoke myself through possible amputation. I spoke myself to learn to walk again 3 separate times. I spoke myself through MRSA twice and I have the scarring for ALLLLL of them. Lol.
I want to encourage you today that the next time you begin to talk down on yourself, to change that around and speak life to yourself. What I know about GOD is that He is no respecter of person. No one person has the power to do more than another. We all have the same power. If I could do it, then so can you. Speak life to your situation today. To your children, your spouse, your finances, your job, shot even those evil people on your job. Your words have so much power and you have the authority to turn it around. Just use your words. 💜💜💜